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Dear Kathy, I am a 32-year-old opera singer, and I love what I do…except for the whole auditioning part of the job. I supplement my income with some other work, so I am not relying on my singing career for all of my income. Financially things are tight, but I am doing okay. What is hard for me is the whole rejection thing when I audition. Can you suggest something that can help me cope with the disappointment of not getting a role I really want? Resisting Rejection, Dear Resisting Rejection, I can relate to your disappointment. At one point I was pursuing a performance career as a coloratura/lyric soprano. The whole audition/rejection thing was hard on me, too. A few things that I learned back in the days when I was auditioning… 1. Sometimes life is not fair. There can be lots of politics involved in auditioning. Some auditions are really clean, and some are not. Sometimes having connections makes all the difference. Even when you know that you are the best person for the role, this does not ensure that you will get the part. My marketing coach always says, “It’s not about you, it’s about them.” I think this is good advice to share with you. It’s not about you, it’s about what they are looking for. That does not make you inadequate as a singer. 2. Sometimes it helps to trust the Universe. What may seem at the moment to be in your best interest may not ultimately be right for you. Do your homework and prepare for the audition, and then let go of the attachment. Trust that the right opportunities will come to you. 3. If you struggle with self-esteem issues (2/3 of Americans do), you may choose to do some personal work to raise your esteem so that when you don’t get a role you want, it does not feel like a personal rejection. If you allow your fear of hurt, rejection, or failure to determine how much risk you are willing to take, you may be severely hampering your ability to manifest what you want in your life by convincing yourself that you should not try, or that you do not deserve what you really want. Our choices are strongly influenced by our disempowering emotions. By learning to recognize and step out of experiencing these emotions, a whole new world of possibility will be available to you. Read my newsletter article titled Independence Day – Free Your Mind for more ideas about how to raise your self-esteem and re-work your self-talk. Best wishes, Kathy Paauw Certified Life Coach & Productivity Consultant
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