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Hi Kathy, I am a huge fan of your website and newsletter. This is something that I've thought about for awhile. What do I do about a love-hate relationship with clutter? I seem to enjoy making piles of paper all over my home and office. I must have been a squirrel in a previous life! My poor partner is always following me around and tidying up. Our home is quite neat but only because she is the tidy one. I know all the rules about having a home for everything and only touching paper once. That doesn't seem to help. Just like I know there must be a million calories in a Baskin & Robbins sundae but I enjoy them none the less! My parents grew up during the war. My mother will save newspapers for months in a huge pile. There are libraries in Canada with less information! The basement houses items from the last 40 years and I no longer venture there. Otherwise their home is quite organized and tidy. Except for paper items. The funny thing is that I watch every single organizing show on TV, and read books and articles on the topic. I love the topic but not the activity of actually doing it. I am very visual and enjoy painting and drawing. I love seeing collections of my "stuff" out and not in boxes or drawers (photos, marbles, vintage toys and books). I don't know why but it must make me feel good. I used to collect movie memorabilia but only recently decided to sell a lot of it on ebay since I don't even look at it any more and we live in a one-bedroom apartment. Our storage unit in the basement is packed. Yet I worry that if something were to happen to me, no one would be able to find anything! I don't have a Will (though do have a good insurance policy). Last week we had our couch reupholstered and it took me over 10 minutes to locate a blank cheque to pay them! I had "an idea" of where to find one but when I looked, it wasn't there!! I just throw things in drawers hoping that one day I will get to organizing everything. Is this normal? Thank you, Digging out in Canada
Dear Digging Out, Glad you enjoy my newsletters. I actually do NOT subscribe to the notion of only handlling a piece of paper only once. I believe it's important to handle paper as FEW times as necessary to be effective. Sometimes we are not ready to make a decision now. For example, you may need more information, or you may want to pay bills on a specific day -- not the day it came in. I am not a psychologist, so I am in no position to help you understand "why" you tick the way you do. I can tell you, from my own experience working with clients with clutter, that my clients are always getting SOMETHING out of holding onto the clutter. We are motivated to do something because it either increases pleasure or decreases pain in our lives. For example, you might find some pleasure or comfort in being around an environment that is similar to what you grew up in...even if on a conscious level you don't like the clutter. Read my article, Letting Go: De-Cluttering Your Life, for more insight on this. I am hearing some pain in your message you wrote to me. It's painful to not be able to find what you need when you need it. Remember that people are motivated by something that will either increase pleasure or decrease pain. Question for you: Is the clutter creating enough pain in your life that you are motivated to do something about it? Read my article, Getting Motivated to Get Organized, and see if there is something in there that may help you identify what would motivate you enough to do something about it. By the way, my definition of clutter goes like this: Anything you own, possess, or do that does not enhance your life on a regular basis. With this definition, can that perhaps help you to decide what is enhancing and what is cluttering up your life? When you are ready to tame your paper tiger, I suggest that you attend two free teleclassses I offer (usually monthly) -- Buried in Paper will teach you how to put together an effective tickler file system for all of the papers in your life requiring you to take action (pay, discuss with partner, write, call, etc.). Find Anything in 5 Seconds or Less will teach you a filing system I have used for years and I have implemented for hundreds of clients. It comes with a guarantee you can find anything you file or store in 5 seconds or less. Visit http://www.orgcoach.net/teleclasses.html for more information and to register for these free teleconference calls. I don't label people, and I cannot answer the question, "Is this normal?" I can tell you there are a number of people who share your struggles! Happy Paper Taming,
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