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Dear Kathy, My mom has recently been "cleaning" the house, but it is much more than cleaning. She is throwing away sentimental things as well as things that belong to me, my dad and brother. She just assumes that they have no importance to us. I think there is a lot more to it than what is on the surface, and I suspect that she may be depressed. My question is, why is she throwing everything away? Any advice? On a Sentimental Journey I am not a psychologist and I don't very often ask WHY. I suspect that you are right that there is a lot more going on than what's on the surface. Is this new behavior for your mother, or has she always tossed things that are of sentimental value? If she has always been that way, it may be helpful to sit down with her and let her know that you realize that these things may not be meaningful to her, but they are to you. Then you can make a request that she give you an opportunity to look over anything she wants to toss before she throws it out or gives it away. If your mom has hooked into the "simplicity" movement, you may need to be prepared to store anything you want to keep somewhere else, outside of your parents' house. If this is new behavior for your mother,and you want to try to understand why, you might ask her about it in a non-judgmental and non-confrontational way: "I notice that you've been getting rid of a lot of things that you used to keep, and I am curious about what has created this shift for you." Her response may provide some insight into helping you understand where she is coming from. As a coach, I focus more on WHAT, WHEN and HOW. It might be better for you to focus on that, as well. WHAT can you do to take care of your needs? WHEN do you need to do it by? HOW can you make the arrangements to ensure that sentimental things are available for you to keep? Best wishes,
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