Getting Personal: 
Sending Messages that Matter

“Don't give to get … give to give!
You get back what you send out.”
- Kody Bateman

The volume of emails that we receive are on the increase. When I returned from a 10-day vacation in August, I was greeted by 2400 … and that’s with a spam filter in place!  More than a month later I am still playing catch-up and I have vowed never to leave my office email completely unattended for that long again.

Granted, email is an easy and economical tool to keep a company name and offerings in front of us, but these messages are frequently impersonal.  For me, I hit DELETE before reading most of them, or I add them to my spam filter.

As I slogged through my 2400 messages, I realized just how many come from well-known marketing consultants.  Often they boast about the size of their subscriber list right at the top of their message, as did one I received recently:  “Sent to over 48,300 subscribers every Tuesday. Welcome to 279 new subscribers this week.”  Obviously this marketing expert would not continue to crank out weekly messages to 48,000+ people if he did not get good results from his efforts. A 1% rate of return would yield 483 responses to his many offerings!

The “mass appeal” method may work well for marketers who pitch online products (eBooks, eCourses, recorded workshops, etc.) and can write compelling, articulate, value-rich articles demonstrating expertise to a large subscriber list. But many small business owners do not like to write and do not have large mailing lists.  Subscriber lists of that size take years to develop, and will grow to that size only if you offer value-rich copy that entices prospects to subscribe. 

So, if emails and auto-responders aren’t a viable option, what other ways can we build relationships with our prospects?  There are really only six marketing strategies to choose from:

1. Direct contact and follow-up
2. Networking and referral building
3. Public speaking
4. Writing and publicity
5. Promotional events
6. Advertising

By the way, these are listed in the order of most effective to least effective, according to marketing coach CJ Hayden, author of an excellent book called Get Clients Now!™. The underlying thread of CJ's message is this:  People do business with people they know, like and trust.  I'd also add ...and REMEMBER.

Duncan Shaw, President of DTS Language Services, Inc., recently wrote an article that got my attention.  In his article, he shares one of the best marketing strategies around -- with a very important twist.  It is not designed as a marketing tool, but rather as a sincere gift from the heart with no strings attached.  A by-product of such a gift is that when you share from the heart, you naturally build relationships.  And that’s really what effective marketing is all about.  With Duncan’s permission, I share his article below.

In recent years I have observed an increasing reliance on autoresponders, aweber tools and other means for small business owners and marketers to try to leverage their time.  This is all well and fine, but this "insert peg in hole" culture has fostered an impersonal and homogenous experience for both clients and prospective clients.

And then we wonder why our professional service businesses are treated like price-driven commodities? Hmm.

Even with vendors I work with only occasionally, I can smell a template email response a mile away, and it makes me think: What, I'm not important enough that you couldn't find 20 seconds to send me a personal email reply?

Anyway, I recently read an article about someone’s thank-you note-writing practice which hit a nerve (in a good way) and it made me think: Who does this today? Hardly anyone, of course. I can count on one hand the number of times I've received a short, thoughtful, hand-written note from someone -- and I can also remember who they were and what their business is, to this day.

And people forget about the life-time value of a client's business, not just their first year or two's worth of invoices.  So what does this lack of personal contact say about how we value our clients over time?

About two months ago I started a daily practice of sending 2-3 short notes to vendors, clients, contractors, colleagues -- anyone I came into contact with, however minor the occasion.  It's important to "smile as you write." Otherwise it will seem like some contrived, dashed off attempt at connecting while trying to do 20 other things at the same time.

This new daily habit has had two effects for me and my company so far:

1) In a very unexpected way, it has made me feel better about myself and my business as a service provider, which bleeds through into the energy I exude all day long.

To anyone who doesn't think it makes a difference in how you walk, talk, and carry yourself and your expressions, I suggest you try this for yourself and see. I also find myself following through with clients more thoroughly and attentively, and having better focus and productivity.

I think it has something to do with taking a few minutes to slow down and give someone your undivided attention. We all crave feeling listened to and acknowledged.

2) On a more tangible level, I have had two important corporate referrals and increased amounts of business from regular clients to whom I've dropped notes in the mail. Business with one client nearly doubled.

I have also received expressions of true, bona fide human appreciation from both clients and vendors we work with.  Now these vendors will go the extra mile for us. Little human touches in the impersonal "we care, but not that much" ocean has an exponential effect on people's desire to know, like, trust, and do business with you.

It simply cements your relationships and builds trust and goodwill.

I want to be clear that while I have become a believer in sending hand-written notes, the object is NOT to simply garner new business or manipulate vendors into putting forth additional efforts; if that's someone's thinking, it will be very apparent and it will backfire.

The intent of writing a personal note must be to express appreciation, without expectation of reward or recognition, and let the rest take care of itself.

What if you started a practice of sending just one unexpected card a day to someone you cared about?  What effect would that have on your relationships?

Like Duncan, I have a daily practice of sending out unexpected cards.  I’m not sure who gets more out of this practice – the recipient or me.  There’s something very powerful about beginning my day sharing an expression of appreciation or encouragement with someone I care about.  Although this practice has expanded my client list immensely, the benefits go far beyond business implications for me.  What’s most meaningful is the way it makes me feel when I share acknowledgement and appreciation with others.  I’ll never be able to put a price on what that’s worth to me.

One year ago today (October 3) I started using a service that is largely responsible for my current daily habit of sending unexpected cards.  I am very grateful for this service.  I have sent 2088 cards since last October, thanks to the assistance of SendOutCards – a company that enables me to select from 7000+ greeting cards, or create my own on-demand custom card.  From the comfort of my own office, I log into my online account, type a heartfelt message into the card, and they print my message using my own handwriting font, address and affix a real stamp to the envelope, and deliver it to the post office on whatever day I want it to be mailed, all for about a dollar.

Editorial note:  I want to say up front that my purpose for writing this is to share the importance of sending a sincere personal note of appreciation that arrives in the mail.  Whether you use my tool of choice – SendOutCards -- or another means to follow through with your intentions and promptings – that’s up to you.  I have always shared great productivity tools when I find them. After all, I am a productivity consultant!  If you already have something else that works better for your schedule, budget and preferences, great!  Keep doing it!!!  

Below is a card I recently created and sent to my daughter, who is in college 1400 miles away from home. Carly misses her cat and her cat misses her, so I created a custom card from a recent digital photo of the two of them, added a voice bubble, typed in a “handwritten” message (I took a little poetic license and wrote the message from her cat), and clicked SEND.  She loved the card and has it displayed in her dorm room.  Best of all, I got a phone call thanking me for my “sweet and thoughtful card”.

Cost to create this card: • $0.93 • 2 minutes of my time to create the cover and "type"  the message in my own handwriting ... plus 5 minutes for a blissful nostalgic "trip down memory lane" as I looked at some photos of my daughter before selecting this one.

Although SendOutCards was founded in 2003 by Kody Bateman, the company’s official launch was just celebrated on August 18, 2006.  I attended the launch along with about 600 others.  My favorite part of attending the first national convention was hearing the stories that people told about the effects of both sending and receiving cards with personal messages inside.  I was asked to speak at the convention, where I shared some of my own stories.  If you want to read some of them, click here.

Kody Bateman has many touching stories to tell because he sends at least one unexpected card a day to the first person who pops into his mind. On this particular day he felt prompted to jot a quick note of appreciation to the organist at his church.  She had been there for many years and he had never thanked her for her music.  So Kody sent her a short heartfelt note about how uplifted he felt each week by her gift of music.  The following Sunday, the organist sought Kody out after the service and asked if she could have a minute of his time.  As she began to speak, tears streamed down her cheeks.  She said:

“Kody, I want to thank you for your card and tell you how much it meant to me.  In all the years I’ve been providing the music here, not once have I ever received a note of appreciation. This past week I was feeling so discouraged that I had decided to quit. I was walking toward the phone to call the church office with my resignation, and something told me I should check my mailbox first. So I went out to get the mail, and the only thing in there was your card. I read it and wept. And I never made that phone call.”

Whenever I hear these stories, there is one common thread.  The sender of the card is showing appreciation and celebrating another human life through simple expressions from the heart.  What I love about sending an unexpected card is that it puts me in a mind-set of acceptance and love. It helps me remember that we are all human beings with weaknesses and strengths, hopes and dreams, joy and sadness, celebrations and disappointments.  We are all in this life together and our greatest accomplishments will be reached by loving each other through the experience.

Kody created SendOutCards after his brother, Kris, died in a tragic accident.  The last time he saw Kris, he had felt a very strong prompting to tell his brother that he loved him.  But he was in a hurry and he ignored that prompting.  The night Kris died, Kody made a promise that he would never ignore another prompting again.  He created SendOutCards to make it easy and affordable for all of us to follow our promptings to express appreciation. 

The most amazing thing to me is the number of cards I get back, thanking me for my cards and telling me how much they mean to the recipients. Here’s an example…

At the completion of some productivity consulting work I did, I sent a card of encouragement to a client who had a lot of work cut out for her in reorganizing many years of disorganized archived files she had inherited with her new job.   Because SendOutCards keeps an electronic record of everything I send out, I can go back and retrieve what I wrote to her.  It took me about one minute to select the card and type my message into it.  Just like the card above (to my daughter), this personal message was printed in my own handwriting when the card was mailed out:

(pre-printed message on right side of card) 

It's usually the

longest journeys that

take you to the

most magical of places.

(my personal handwritten message on left side of card)

A week later, I received a handwritten card in the mail from Joanne.  Her card said:

(shared with permission)

Kathy,

Personally, I wanted to thank you for your assistance, but most of all, for your kind words within your inspirational card. If I should become discouraged or overwhelmed, I will certainly look upon your card for a bit of encouragement -- for the light at the end of a very long tunnel. The support and assistance you have extended mean so much!

Best Regards,

Joanne

Making a difference is as simple as sending one unexpected card every day. By doing this, not only do we encourage and appreciate people when they most need it, we also connect with something inside of ourselves.

The act of expressing appreciation daily comes from becoming aware of your own promptings.  What do I mean by that?  There are times when you get a mental "nudge" to reach out to someone you know or someone you've met.  When you get that nudge, you may not understand why.  It doesn't matter why.   What's important is that you follow through. It's remarkable how ofen a card arrives at just the "perfect" time, when someone else needs it most.

Recently I was reminded of a colleague's birthday.  This is someone I do not know well.  I've spoken with him on the phone but have never actually met him.  When I got the email reminder about his birthday from SendOutCards, I almost deleted it without sending a card.  I thought, "I don't really know him very well, and I am not sure what to say."  But something prompted me to send him a card, anyway.  I created a humorous one, with a picture of my dog on the front, and I included my colleague's name in the caption.  I wrote a few sincere words of acknowledgement about his recent business growth.  Then I clicked SEND and forgot all about it. 

A few days later I got this email from him: 

"Thanks so much for the birthday card.  You never know how few cards someone may receive on their birthday, and you just may make their day, like you did mine." 

Sending a card can have a ripple effect.  It made my day to know that my card meant so much to him.  The effect is not just on the recipient's life, but on the lives of the people whose lives they touch. 

I know someone else who received a card under similar circumstances from a colleague she did not know well.  She told me that it was the ONLY birthday card she received.  It was her 50th birthday.  You can just imagine the impact that the card had on her.  She'll never forget the sender. The ripple effect at its finest!

We have an opportunity to create a positive ripple effect by simply sending cards of appreciation when we feel prompted to do so.

The habit of acting on a prompting will change your life – personally and professionally.